A woman asked her boyfriend is she could borrow his credit card for a little shopping.
She was smart enough to have hot steamy sex first.
“Sure”, he said, and handed it to her.
“When will you be back”, he asked.
“It depends on your credit limit”, she replied
The City of Austin is firing its city manager Spencer Crock.
Supposedly for his responce to the recent ice storm that left 100,000 Austin’ites withou power for days.
His firing comes with a 476,000.00 severance pay.
(How f**** nice is the City of Austin to give someone a half million dollars when they fire him!!!
Next, he was not responsible for the ice storm, that is something that you cannot blame on any human. The
I am sure Austin Energy was working around the clock to restore power outages.
What in the world did the City of Austin expect it’s city manager to do in such a situation?
Aparently, that was the straw that broke the camels back.
And we just went through months of all kinds of shit finding the perfect manager and hiring Mr. Crock.
To me this is the proverbial “crock of shit”.
Work like you don’t need the money.
Love as if you have never been hurt.
Dance as if no one is watching.
Follow your heart wherever it leads, even if it is strait into a stop sign.
“Free your mind, and the rest will follow.”
“You know you’ve got it, if it makes you feel good”, – Janis Joplin
“It’s good if you enjoy it.” new Michelobe Ultra ad
“you are beautiful – just the way you are; and don’t let anyone con you into believing otherwise (read: they think they know the only true and right way, a sure sign of stupidity.
Are you ready yet for ‘Jolene’ to come take your man?
A cop pulled me over and asked if I was drinking. I replied, “Sure, you buying?” Now I need bond money.
Why is it impossible to drink 8 glasses of water a day, and 8 beers go down quicker than a fat boy on a teeter totter?
When the chips are down, buy salsa!
I have good news and bad news.
The GOOD: The car is fully packed for our long awaited vacation.
The BAD: The car won’t start and needs a new engine.
This is the Captain speaking, we are fixing to land in Austin Texas.
Please place your tray in the upright position, and put your pants and dresses back on.
Thank you for flying ItWontLickItself Airlines.
There is no one absolute correct way of looking at anything. Ask ten people about any issue to find out.
The term “GOD” was around centuries before the Hebrew and Christian religions were developed. It began with Zarathrusta. GOD is an acronym for “Generator Ordainer Destroyer”
I just sent a carefully worded email to someone: F.O.A.D
Egypt is building a huge river through the desert, which is mostly what Egypt is to reclaim 2 million square miles of farm land at the cost of 58 billion dollars. Seems to me that will take a lot of cotton to pay for.
“Don’t shoot me, I am just the messenger.”
When someone, anyone tells me the straiht truth about any situation to the best of their knowledge, I employ the strenght necessary to listen closely, and not comment, make facial expressions, and above all don’t be mad. They just did me a huge favor. How can you be mad about that?
Well, it that is what you insist on having as a public image, whether it is good, bad, or ugly, saintly, feindish, or criminal piece of shit; so be it. You must be proud of it, and we have no choice but to look at you that way, and stay our of your way and hope you stay out of ours.
has a single goal. What is it?
Killing innocent people is not it. Killing people is a byproduct of it.
Is it a ‘show of streangth?’ No, no weaker show of strength exists.
To create terror
Remove the governments facade of infallibility you remove faith in the establilshment, its government, its leaders, and its system of government, such as a democracy.
It weakens their enemy from within.
Its no who you are fucking at Google, but who you should be fucking at Google.
If it wasnt painfully difficult you did it wrong (?)
“When they go down, we go up.” – Michelle Obama
Life is difficult, and once we decide that life is no longer difficult, it no longer matters.
Life is a series of problems to be solved, not moaned about. – Buddha
We are Rosicrucians.
Sa Ank Pronaos on N Lamar.
Aliester Crowley (it’s pronounced ‘crowley, not ‘crauley’ he wanted it to ryhme with ‘holey’
Spent his honeymoon in “The Great Pyramid of Gaze”. Can you imagine that ? And wrote “The Book of The Law”
“Love is the law, love under will”
Wise addage: Dont believe anything that you hear, and only half what you see.
Dont forget the story about the boy who cried wolf. It taght in school for a reason.
Make decisions based on future events and possible future events. “choose your enemies wisely’, you may need their help in the future which is far more important than decision based on fear, hate and revenge.
Get over it god dammit.
Have a Coke… movie.
Coca-Cola’s breaking into the film biz with a series of short and quirky Christmas flicks. Picture: a vampire love story and talking computers. DO WHAT ??????
Track: Apple is being sued over “AirTag stalking” after a woman said she found the tracking device on her car while another said she found one on her child’s backpack. There’s mounting pressure to create safeguards for the $29 gadget. (ever googled “spy devices” or “spy cameras”? There is some awesome shit out there readily available.
For a monent dream about what cops and industry professionals must have.
Yetis are taking over Alaska
, but instead of running for the hills, residents are heading to the coast. A shipping container spilled 1K+ Yeti coolers into the sea, and they’re washing up as freebies on Alaskan beaches (beer not included). Well I was more hoping for mermaids …
Walmart says shoplifting could lead to higher prices and closures as losses from organized retail theft mount
Calling a call girl, eh I mean store associate…
to unlock the fancy razors in the glass case. Yesterday, Walmart CEO Doug McMillon said rising theft could lead to price hikes and store closures. America’s largest retailer is dealing with a surge in shoplifting that’s “higher than what it has historically been,” McMillon added. He said a lax approach from local prosecutors could lead to closures and higher prices if the problem persists.
Walmart isn’t the only one… Organized retail theft (think: criminal rings who steal large volumes of products only to resell them) is on the rise. Last year nearly 70% of retailers reported a spike, which contributed to losses of up to $69B. It can be hard to imagine that shoplifting could significantly affect multibillion-dollar corporate giants, but the scale has become so great it’s hitting their bottom line — and losing them hundreds of millions.
Target is also dealing with an increase in stealing, which it says is mostly organized retail theft. Recently, Target’s CFO said shoplifting at its stores has jumped 50% from last year. So far this year, losses from theft have dealt a $400M blow to its profit margins.
Rite Aid said it lost $5M last quarter from theft at its NYC locations, and last year Best Buy’s CEO said that rising theft had been “traumatizing” for workers.
T told you the girl would be cheaper, believe it or ont
Party in the panty pantry… Despite inflated prices, Americans have continued splurging on brand-name groceries from companies like Pepsi, Kraft, and Kellogg. Pepsi’s offset higher costs by hiking prices or shrinking product sizes (cough, shrinkflation). Last quarter Pepsi doubled its annual sales forecast as snacking demand stayed strong. But recession fears are sparking concerns that consumers’ label loyalty could be tested:
In October, Pepsi’s popular Frito-Lay brand saw sales volumes dip. Meanwhile, consumers across income levels are starting to trade down to cheaper private labels.
Now, Pepsi execs said they want to offset pressure on margins by preparing for “worsening macroeconomic conditions.”
Well inflation is deflating my stomach, but it need is anyway.
: Apple reportedly altered its planned self-driving car to include a steering wheel and pedals (anticlimactic). Autonomous tech has lagged expectations, as players like Tesla struggle to deliver on promises.
Tesla just released a time lapse video of their all electric semi completing a 500 hundred mile drive fully loaded. (Wow, sounds like my date last night.)
Quotes by Ayn Rand, author of “Atlas Shrugget”, one of the most definitive classics.
“Who is Charles Goth”
“I swear by the life of me I will never live for the sake of another person, not allow another person to live for me.”
Ayn Rand who shot to fame with her two best-selling novels The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged was born on February 2, 1905. Rand advocated reason as the only means of acquiring knowledge and rejected faith and religion. She supported rational and ethical egoism, and rejected altruism. Her movement was called Objectivism and she went on to publish magazine and essay collections on the same. Her works are still popular and relevant. Here’re 16 of her best quotes:
“I could die for you. But I couldn’t, and wouldn’t, live for you.”
-Ayn Rand, The Fountainhead
“Freedom (n.): To ask nothing. To expect nothing. To depend on nothing.”
-Ayn Rand, The Fountainhead
“A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others.”
“The man who does not value himself, cannot value anything or anyone.”
-Ayn Rand, The Virtue of Selfishness: A New Concept of Egoism
“You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.”
“Learn to value yourself, which means: fight for your happiness.”
“The truth is not for all men but only for those who seek it.”
“Never think of pain or danger or enemies a moment longer than is necessary to fight them.”
-Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged
To say ‘I love you’ one must first be able to say the ‘I.’
If you desire, like all rats and ratettes do, to listen to our station and crawl our web site, open radioaustintexas.com in two browser tabs. Play the station in one, and crawl all over our site (oooowww), in the other.
A SENIOR’S VERSION OF FACEGOOK
For those of my generation who do not, and cannot, comprehend why facebook is this; I am trying to make friends outside of facebook while applying the same principles.
Therefore, everyday I walk down the street and tell passersby what I have eaten, how I feel at the moment, what I have done the night before, what I will do later and with whom.
I give them pictures of my family, my dog and new gardening, taking things apart in the garage, watering the lawn, standing in front of landmarks, driving around town, having lunch, and doing what anybody and everybody does every day.
I also listen to their conversations, give them ‘THUMBS UP’.
And ‘LIKE THEM’.
And it works just like facebook.
I already have four people following me: two police officers, a private investigator, and a psychiatrist.
Chasing it, you lose it, like trying to get pregnant. Forget about it and it will happen. KOOL HUUUU. Let ‘NATURE’ take over. It knows more about what is happening than you do.
Scientists are grubbling for ‘life’ in universe. Their mistake – ‘Life like us’.
Life is everywhere narcissistic humans.
an old addage: “Don’t believe anything you hear, and only half what you see.”
Grass, leaves, and other objects that appear green to humans are actually a bluish purple. It reflects green light.
They were in another room watching S.W.A.T. on TV, which gave me a great idea, What do you think about the new number one CBS daytime series T.W.A.T?
Works for me!!
Now on with my story <*^*>
There is a being, some might look at as an insect, or bug. Flying through life, trying to accomplish her goals. Lets call this being Lisa.
Lisa was being blown aroung by the wind and having lots of problems.
So Lisa decided to let the wind blow through her and then, and only then, could she go where she wanted to.
Moral story poor mortals, in the words of Endora, Samantha Stevens (Bewitched), mother.
You CAN’T always change what is happening in your life.
But you CAN always change your attitude about it!
A drop dead gorgeous blonde (which we all are), was late for work at a restaurant and speeding a little down South Congress.
A cop pulled her over, who happened to be blonde as well.
“May I see your driver’s licence?”
After thinkink for a moment and digging through her purse, “Well, what does it look like?”
Irritated the blonde cop said, “It has your picture on it dummy.”
After digging through her purse some more she pulled out her compact, opened it and looked into the mirror.
The blonde cop looked into the mirror, closed it and gave it back to her.
“If I had known you were a cop I wouldn’t have pulled you over. You are free to go. Have a nice day officer.”
Happy Friday. A Syrian immigrant who came to the US with $14K and opened a gas station became a millionaire after selling the winning $2B Powerball ticket.
It was ‘show and tell’ day at little Johny’s 5th grade class.
The teacher called him up to the front of the class.
“Now Johny, I am going to place something in your mouth and I want you to tell me what it is.”
She unwrapped a hershys kisses and placed it in his mouth.
“Now tell me what it is.”
After chewing it a little, he shook his head.
“I will give you a clue. It is what you mother gives your father before he goes to work.”
A girl in the back of the class room jumped up and yelled.
“SPIT IT OUT, IT’S A PIECE OF ASS.”
Last century we got spaceships. This century we’re getting space shipping. Japanese startup Ispace aims to become the FedEx of the moon and is shipping its first packages this month. But do they have a lunar return policy?
“My first husband was a lawyer, he just liked to talk about it. My second husband was a song writer. He just liked to sing about it. My third husband was a postman. He liked to lick things.” “Eeeew I miss him.”
More on how this shit works.
All animals and plants contain the story of their past in their biology.
At the center of the human brain is an exact replica of a lizard brain. The human brain grew and evolved around that start.
Human embryos at an early stage have a tail. Yes, a tail, the story of our past, which develops into the throt. Some people have black spots on the end of the curvatue of their spine where a tail once was.
Human spines are identical to a lot of animals with tails.
Birds. Notice the scales on their legs? Think dinasours.
THE STORY OF EARTH.
A few billion of years ago, when the Earth was a baby, there was amonia, carbon dioxided in the atmosphere and lightning. It has been proven that these conditions created the first piece of RNA. A few million years later, RNA learned to enclose itself. This led to the first single cell plants – algea. Eventually these one cell plants lead to huge forests thorugh evolutions.
Plants used carbon dioxide to create oxygen through photosthis, their way of doing things. Then there was an abundanced of oxygen on earth, a very caustic substance. Plants and animals have a protein on their skin to withstand the oxygen or they would vaporize.
Then there was the problem of what to do with all this oxygen.
Then the second major mistake of the planet happened. Create animals to get rid of the oxygen.
Believe biology, not bullshit. Humans evolved froM lizards, and birds evolved from dianasours. Lisa will attempt to prove this tomorrow.
THE REALITY OF EARTH
All reality on Earth resolves around the concepts of FUCKING.
Who, where, how bad, and why are the concepts to be developed. The sky is the limit as far as applying the FUCK, as well as for various reasons: sexual, revenge and jealousy come to mind. And hopefully to God, I won’t get shot, sued or other unfortunate consequences.
Minimum-wage workers in NYC would need to clock 111 hours/week to afford rent for a one-bedroom apartment
Scanning a bean can… This barcode has a bigger price tag: on Friday, Kroger said it was buying smaller rival grocer Albertsons for $24.6B. The super-merger is one of the largest in America’s grocery history. Combined, Ralphs owner Kroger and Safeway parent Albertsons would have 7K+ workers in 5K stores, gaining (super) market share:
The top dog is Walmart, which controls a fifth of the US grocery market. Kroger’s #2 with 10% of total dollars spent, followed by Costco.
A Michigan bill seeks to brand gender-affirming parents and doctors as child abusers and even proposes life in prison as a possible consequence for facilitating gender-affirming care.
H.B. 6454 would amend the penal code to state that child abuse includes when someone “knowingly or intentionally consents to, obtains, or assists with a gender transition procedure for a child.”
The bill includes any hormones or puberty blockers in its definition of “gender-transition procedure.” Puberty blockers are reversible medications that delay the onset of puberty so that trans youth can have more time to explore their gender identities before the permanent effects of puberty occur and they have been shown to decrease lifelong suicide risk for trans people who want them.
State Rep. Beau LaFave (R), one of the lawmakers who introduced the bill, told The Hill that kids shouldn’t transition until they are old enough to have sex.
“People are abusing these children. The idea that we would be making potentially life-altering changes to 11-, 12-, 13-, 14-, 15-year-old kids when it is illegal for them to have sex is insane. I mean, they’re not responsible enough to smoke a cigarette until they’re 21.”
“Gender affirming care is medically necessary and life-saving care for transgender youth,” Equality Michigan executive director Erin Knott said in a statement. “Medical decisions belong to trans youth, their parents, and their doctors.”
Should the bill pass, Michigan would become the second state to make gender-affirming care a felony, after Alabama – though a judge has blocked part of Alabama’s law from taking effect.
Republicans across the country continue to advocate for laws banning youth from receiving gender-affirming care, even though multiple studies show that transgender youth experience high rates of suicidality, and that access to affirming healthcare often leads to significant improvements in their mental health and quality of life.
In August, anti-LGBTQ Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) introduced a bill at the federal level that would make providing gender affirming care for transgender minors a class C felony, ban federal funds—including Medicaid funds—from being used for gender affirming care for transgender people, ban medical schools from teaching about gender affirming care, stop health care plans under the Affordable Care Act from funding gender affirming care, and ban anyone found to have performed gender affirming care from immigrating to the U.S.
“Filling up their brain-washed minds.” Roger Watrers, Pink Floyd.
What is beyone the universe? Well, what do you think?
The above image is the best ‘our’ scientists can to to map the galaxies in the universe.
Our Milky Way galaxy is just one of the billions of galaxies in the universe, which is not about 13.77 billion years old, since the ‘big bang’ (what an orgasm!!). It has been expanding since then, and creating stars, planets, black holes and all kinds of things, ALL OF WHICH are elements known to us, such as hydrogen and oxygen (Think about this as well). Within it, there are at least 100 billion stars, and on average, each star has at least one planet orbiting it. This means there are potentially thousands of planetary systems like our solar system within THIS galaxy!, and there are over 100 billion of them (Can I get a Cheech and Chong, “Wow Man”
Think about “What is ‘our’ universe”, and “What is beyond the universe. I will reveal the answer to these questions this weekend in RAT Crumbs. Only on RadioAustinTexas.Com
Side note: Girls, when was your ‘big bang’ moment, and who all was present?
“MY BIG BANG made me …. ?” Shall we compare notes girls? maybe … crack and crack?
Finally the fucking answer. We must have heard the word FUCK used on varios stages at the ACL. So it must be OK to present fucking media with the word FUCK, which has the most definations of any word ever thought of. …
1. It would have made me loose my mind – that is -if I had one.
2. My thighs stuck together for two days.
3. Security had to run off all the wathers and listeners.
And the number one answer was …..
“COME ON DOWN!!”
And now for the Fuckin answer to the question posed. ..
By scientif definition ‘our’ univers contains TIME SPACE GRAVITY which leads to distances and an illusion of reality. SO once again, what is beyong ‘our unverse’ more on this tomoerrow.
The real ‘real’ world. There is no time or space. No beginning or end. No here or there. Humans are living in a dream. Looking for ‘life’ meaning ‘life like us’, they ar missing it all.
TEXT US of your ways that FUCK can and will be used (like it or not). Radio Austin 737-290-9273
The latest in haute cuisine: a San Francisco restaurant is offering a $75 three-course tasting menu for dogs, complete with bark-worthy quail eggs and hand-cut filet mignon.
In the Midevil castle days of the 1500’s there was a person who would follow the king around with the Royal Toilet. When the king needed to do that, the person would set it up then wipe his royal ars. To our modern thinking, this sounds like the worst job possible and so disrespectful, however he was one of the most looked up to, and the kings closest associate in all matters.
Last updated 11/11/2022
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